1.
Focus on your child’s needs. Don’t let your feelings toward your coparent affect your relationship or your coparent’s relationship with your child
2.
Use effective tools for communicating about your child. Consider using online tools to manage schedules and information. Update your coparent regularly about child’s wellbeing and any changes you may notice. Include information on child’s development, challenges and triumphs.
3.
Don’t create a parenting time schedule that is unreasonable or stressful for your child. Remember, parenting time schedules are meant to benefit your child. The goal is to create a sense of stability and continuity, as well as provide time to maintain good relationships with BOTH parents.
4.
Life happens. Be flexible with your plans when necessary to help the other parent.
5.
Communicate respectfully with your coparent. Exposure to high conflict separations puts children at high risk for academic, behavioral and emotional problems.
6.
Support your child’s relationship with your coparent. Characterize the time your child spends with her other parent as special and important. Speak positively about the time spent.
7.
Make transitions easy for your child by sticking to the agreed upon plan. Be on time for pick-ups/drop-offs. Acknowledge your coparent with a respectful ‘hello’ or wave.
8.
Devise a plan to help child keep track of things. Keeping up with schoolwork, uniforms, instruments and personal items are difficult for children in any situation. That difficulty is multiplied when being raised in two homes. Implement support strategies in both homes that lessen confusion. (i.e. each home should have sets of toiletries, basic school supplies, uniforms, etc.)
9.
Partner on discipline. Discipline is not just something we do when children are “bad.” Discipline describes the methods by which we teach life skills and appropriate behavior. Come together on core values around safety, house rules, bedtime, activities, homework and consequences for negative behavior. Be consistent. Support your coparent to maintain consistency. Consider taking a parenting class with your coparent.
10.
Partner on goals for your child. Together you and your coparent are raising an adult. Make choices that support what is necessary to do that successfully.
The choices you make today create the backdrop for your child’s life story tomorrow. Choose to be a hero in that story! ~Sheila~
Disclaimer: The information provided herein is for general informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended and should not be construed to constitute legal advice. Nothing contained herein should be relied on or acted upon without the benefit of legal advice based upon the particular facts and circumstances presented, and nothing herein should be construed otherwise.
Copyright © Cooperative Strategies Family Law 2015